“What’s up?” “J” asked one evening.“Well,” I stumbled, “we, I mean I, … we were wondering, ahem, maybe if … would you, that is to say, would you care to, would you be amenable to possibly, maybe, … joining … us … ?”“In a game of Scrabble? In holy matrimony?” “J” teased immediately.“You little fucker!” I shot back. “You’re gonna get punished for that.” “M” and I both gave each other the look. “Tickle torture,” “M” said.“J” mock-hid behind a couch cushion, daring us with that wicked smile.We had played this game before, and we already knew the limits. “Orange” was the agreed upon safe word. We all knew the game was just an excuse for the “transgressor” to get touched.“M’s” hand shot to “J’s” clavicle, hitting that sweet spot that turned “J” into a happy, cackling hyena. I got “J’s” left shoe and sock off and wiggled my fingers between those delicious toes. This went on for what seemed a long time, but was only about five minutes. “Orange!” “J” finally conceded.We giggled and. (I hacked my neighbor's encryption and paid him forty a month not to squeal. He was happy to have his Internet underwritten by yours truly. We occasionally had beer and pizza on Sundays.) We were sitting around pounding down the suds and sucking up tomato pie when I bemoaned my lack of options. Todd, my neighbor, brought up a coastal option--houseboats. Once you owned it the slip rental was (relatively) cheap and if you didn't like the neighbors you could flip 'em off and move!Houseboats come in three major classes. First, there's the redneck special: put a house trailer on floats and party on! Naah. It wasn't my idea of fun. I didn't want to die with my last words being "Hold my beer and watch this!". Nope. Nope. No way.Next there's the factory built houseboat that is massively underpowered and steers like a drunken water buffalo. Meh. I've got to be able to do better than that.Next we get into the naval engineered solutions. There's a whole spectrum of offerings. If you start with.
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